Inbetween Worlds: Writing -- Poetry -- expectation

expectation

why?
I don't know... because...
that's not good enough
not anymore

and a thousand thousand things to say live and die in that moment
that you should want me unhurt because you love me
is that so very hard to say?
that you should be appalled for my sake
that you should want to cry the tears I've not been able to
that you should hold me and still my sobbing
that I could let it out, that it's not about what you all believe it to be

I have hurt someone who loved me for no other reason
than I was me and I was able
and the need to hurt makes no sense, I who am so easily bruised

it's funny that people don't want someone gentle or concerned
they want the battering, the insistence, the disregard and the disrespect
a planetful of people low on self-esteem and I'm just like them all

except when I sleep, I dream of a better place or way or time
where we think and feel for people other than themselves
where I don't have to feel like a freak for being broken
when I see you grinding into him on the dance floor
where everyone else would understand instead of looking at me blankly

that it's not so fucking hard to understand my pain

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