| If I'm Strong |
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If I'm strong Why do I hover, disembodied, Over their webpages And live their lives vicariously? If I'm strong Why can't I tell the cleaning woman The real reason I have no girlfriend? If I'm strong Why can't I confront my roommate And ask that he do his share of the housework? If I'm strong How could I have cheated on my boyfriend? Why couldn't I have broken up with him Before I slept with someone else? If I'm strong Why do I let my father treat me the way he does? You all call me strong As if it lets you off the hook You are happy you don't have to suffer my strength Were I truly strong This wouldn't bother me You make it sound Like being strong is an achievement All I can think of Are the people threatened by my strength, my emphemeral steel Strong enough to drive people away Yet too weak to ask for what is mine by right of birth Too weak not to hurt people Too stupid not to abuse my power Not strong enough to let go Too afraid to loosen my clutched heart from around feelings Which bring me nothing but pain I am tired of being the strong one Tired of shouldering the weight of utter honesty Tired of making the first move Tired of being this superhuman pillar of power Who is both ineffective and the most influencial person ever imagined A nobody and a somebody A lost soul trapped between worlds All these people admiring my depth, the extent of my perception, the ocean of my abilities And what I wouldn't give to be a happy little puddle, Airheaded and vacuous, And sublimely unaware of The difference between strong and weak, The chasm between deep and shallow, And the loneliness which lies between Some look at me and see greatness, strength, intelligence, passion... How many look at me and see Kalev? |
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Content © 1995-2001 Kalev Hunt (kalev@pobox.com)