Inbetween Worlds: Writing -- Poetry -- So Brave

So Brave...

People think I'm so brave
Telling people I'm gay
Sharing my life
To make the world a better place

Let me tell you the story of a boy
Who sat through my speech today
His quiet drinking up my explanations
Of why homophobia is bad

He was maybe 14, 15, 16
And I had noticed him before—
(i don't really know why)

He handed me his evaluation sheet
And on it he had written:
"I'm struggling with issues like these
and this really helped."

I looked up and he was smiling a shy smile
And I smiled back (professionally)
But inside my heart was breaking/pounding
("struggling with issues like these")
I was him and he was me

I couldn't offer any comfort
No commendation on his courage for writing,
"I'm struggling with issues like these"
And handing them to a stranger
He had risked everything and I stood there risking nothing
Wearing my pride rings like a shield

I met him later in the hall
(he actually hung around!)
And because of what "people might say"
Wrote my name and number on a scrap of paper
Dropped it where he could see
Turned around and walked away
So as not to reveal his struggles

And I am crying now
(in privacy)
Crying for his courage which puts me to shame
Crying for every boy and girl who is
"struggling with issues like these"
Crying that they are sobbing themselves to sleep
(like I did:

Isolated, afraid, and so very alone)
Crying for when I was him, exactly him,
When I was "struggling with issues like these"

Raging against the fear and silence
Which did not let me give him a hug or even ask him his name—
(i don't even know his name)
But I won't ever forget his face

So brave. . .
A nameless boy whose face I won't forget
Whose smile taught me the meaning of courage
And whose words are both my reason and my reward:
"I'm struggling with issues like these

and this really helped."

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